The RubeTube

As you can probably imagine, a lot of people (including my dear friends) misspell "Punzki", intentionally or otherwise. This has led to the creation of such monstrosities as "Poonski", "Punsky", and--God forbid--"Funskie".

(I do realize that this is partly my fault because I don't usually spell out my name when I introduce myself to others as Punzki. But you could have asked, right? I don't bite.)

Let's dissect the parts of my moniker and discuss the common mistakes when spelling them:

• F instead of P in Punzki, e.g., "Funzki"
  
  When people do this, they are usually just trying to be cute, but I get irritated with this particular intentional bastardization of my name.
  
  
• oo instead of u in Punzki, e.g., "Foonzki"
  
  Again, not cute.
  
  
• The n in Punzki is mandatory. You absolutely cannot get this wrong.
  
  
• s instead of z in Punzki, e.g., "Punski"
  
  Conditionally excusable. The exception is when you know what my real name is, which has no letter S in it at all, and you realize that Punzki is derived from my family name.
  
  
• Not putting a k in Punzki, e.g., "Punzi"
  
  Partly excusable, because sometimes the strong "z" sound can overpower the "k" sound and you end up not hearing it. On a side note, my brother's nickname/Net handle is "Punzie".
  
  
• ie or y instead of i in Punzki, e.g., "Punzkie", "Punzky"
  
  Acceptable, although "ie" is very close to qualifying as asking-for-it.
  

Now if you are any good in discrete math, you will realize that given these parameters, there are 48 possible ways that you can screw up my name (48 = 2 x 2 x 2 x 2 x 3). Take your pick, please (the ones in bold are palatable for me, most are toward the end):

• Foonsi
• Foonsie
• Foonski
• Foonskie
• Foonsky
• Foonsy
• Foonzi
• Foonzie
• Foonzki
• Foonzkie
• Foonzky
• Foonzy
• Funsi
• Funsie
• Funski
• Funskie
• Funsky
• Funsy
• Funzi
• Funzie
• Funzki
• Funzkie
• Funzky
• Funzy
• Poonsi
• Poonsie
• Poonski
• Poonskie
• Poonsky
• Poonsy
• Poonzi
• Poonzie
• Poonzki
  
• Poonzkie
• Poonzky
• Poonzy
• Punsi
• Punsie
• Punski
• Punskie
• Punsky
• Punsy
• Punzi
• Punzie
• Punzki
• Punzkie
• Punzky
• Punzy

Of course, I didn't generate those names myself... I wrote a program to generate those. Steal the source code, if you wish. (I decided to use C++ because all I've been doing lately is C# and Java and I was afraid I was getting rusty.) The Punzki nickname generator is pretty flexible, so if you have an oft-misspelled nickname as well, you can change the source code and compile and run it yourself, but be sure to let me know about the results!

Labels: C++, combinatorics, geek, math, names, Punzki

By the N-th day of Christmas my true love will have given to me

F(N-1) + ((N * (N+1)) / 2) gifts,

where F(N) = total gifts received by the N-th day, given that F(0) = 0.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

(Before you rebut with your mathematical arguments, please take note: the formula refers to the cumulative total number of gifts received by the N-th day. Also, if anyone will do me the favor of converting the recurrence relation into an explicit formula, that'd be an awesome Christmas present.)

Labels: Christmas, geek, math